Dear Homely Lateral File Cabinets,
My beloved harbingers of toxic assets,my precious repositories of dental records, I have my eye on you. You can't hide behind your practical beige- beigeiness any longer. I am unfazed by the poopish pallor of your factory finish. I do not care that you weigh 600lbs; your size does not deter me. I am a girl. - You can't give me a hernia.
(Can you? shit, I hope not).
When I look in your drawers, I see heaven. I have big plans for you my lovely oversized tuna cans.
I want to make you fancy- like this!
Or, possibly this
Let me show you the world!
And if you resist?
I will put your big boxy asses right back on craigslist where you came from.
So watch it.
(Or at least until the cheapskate "Client" forks over enough dough for a proper piece of furniture.)
images: i suck...no credits for any of them.sorry, sorry