Decorus Interruptus

Progress on the new digs came to a screeching halt on Monday. Why you ask?
Several weeks ago I received an effing summons for jury duty! My initial reaction was amusement. "No worries, I'll simply get out of it."
Then I did what I always do when I feel as if I am being treated unfairly by the world at large.

I picked up the phone and called my BFSK (best friend since kindergarten) S. The convo went something like this..

T: Hey! You're not going to believe what I got in the mail today.

S: Let me guess, A disconnect notice for water service, because you spent all your money on E-Bay last month? I'm not paying it.

T: (pause here for a deep cleansing breath) No, silly! (insert Bitchy Mc Bitcherton) A jury summons. Funny! Right? I'm not going. I just thought it was weird they would even send it. I am blaming this whole mix up on Hillary. If I wouldn't have registered to vote this would have never happened. Anyway, I'm not going. So what do I have to do to get out of it?

S: Well, there will be a price to pay for voting for Hillary. This is not it. The only way out is to prove you are mentally unsound, and while I know this is true, you have never had a formal diagnosis (did I mention she's a nurse?) You have to go. Don't worry. No attorney worth her retainer would want you on a jury. You'll be out by noon. Take hand sanitizer.

This was perhaps the best advice anyone has ever given me.
Out-Juror#7