Strange Brew

Here is the dish. Some of my week in review.

Sugar Daddy (the boyfriend formerly known as Doo-Doo head) to Tobi:

SD: Why are you always... such a …such a …?

T: Bitch?

SD: Well, I was going to say democrat, but yeah, that too.

T: I am NOT a fucking democrat!

Tobi screaming at the television to Lauren on The Hills Monday Night:

ENOUGH OF THE DAMN MOUSTACHE! Waxgoddammit or stop drinking the grape Kool-Aid!

Mr. Fussy Pants (the a.d.d-- o.c.d. boss) to Tobi:

F: Just answer the damn question! Why do you keep calling me Joe? What the hell is in your eye?

T: It worked for Sarah Palin

Tobi to customer on phone:

T: Did you receive any kind of vocational training while you were in prison?

Customer: I wasn’t there long enough.

Tobi: Would they let you go back?

Customer: I won’t know until the twenty- fifth of next month.

Vice President of PTA to Tobi:

VP:Before you can attend a board meeting, I will need you to sign a confidentiality agreement. We do not want anyone to air our dirty laundry.

Tobi: Reeeeallly??

VP: Will you?

Tobi: Yes, yes I will.

VP: Do you need a pen?

Tobi: For what?

VP: To sign the confidentiality agreement.

Tobi: I’m not going to sign the agreement. I am just going to air your dirty laundry. Do you spell Muffy with a y or ie?

Office supply Salesman at Fussy & Bitchy Mortgage Inc. after seeing Shirley (the office cat) at the front door.

Salesman: Is this your attack cat?

T: Yes, don’t touch her she bites!

Salesman: Well, she looks ferocious. I was almost afraid to come in.

T: Well, then she almost did her job.

Salesman:

The great part is that it is only Wednesday.

I wonder how many people I can piss off by Friday.

Out-T.