Sunday, December 21, 2008

Dirty Old Saint Nicholas

Dirty old Saint Nicholas lean your ear this way, don't you tell a single soul what I'm going to say...

Dear Santa,

I did not send my Christmas list to you sooner because I have not been very good this year. I was really afraid I would be getting cinders in my stocking. After seeing this picture of you I decided I may have a chance after all.

I hope you can overlook the recent incident with the homeless guy and the frozen turkey. How was I to know the boy (I swear he looked about 12) in the blue Ford was a police officer. I did apologize for asking him if his mother knew he was carrying a gun after he showed me his badge. Just so you know, I gave the turkey back.

Instead of cookies and milk, if you look between the cushions of the couch at the New Digs, you will find loose change and I have generously left a full can of Colt 45 and a box of Swisher Sweets for your enjoyment.

I will leave the gift selection up to you, anything extra you may have on the sleigh will do just fine. Usually, I am much more particular, but really? There is no damn way I am sitting on your lap.

Your Friend,


bluestreak said...

no lappy no nuttin honey bunny. what do you think santa has to live for? giving out gifts to kids that just throw a fit when they sit on his lap? It's all about the lappy action.

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