Thursday, July 2, 2009

Gwendolyn Cheese and Her Circus of Fleas

Gwendolyn Cheese and Her Circus of Fleas

Ladies and Gentlemen! Kids of all ages! Come see the circus with fleas on three stages!
For the first time, in the completely wide world, a circus of fleas make believed by a girl.
Meet Gwendolyn Cheese, Ringleader extraordinaire,
With her band of tiny performers that fly through the air.
They spin and they twirl with the greatest of ease, and that is quite a feat for bugs with no knees.

There are fleas riding camels, fleas breathing fire,
Fleas in a clown car with one missing tire.
Some jump on trampolines, bouncing much higher,
Than Marvelous Martha who walks the tight wire.
Maybe the most flabbergasting of all, is Carlos Courageous the flea cannonball.
He shoots through the air and over a wall, an unheard of stunt, for a creature so small.

Gwendolyn has chosen the most talented bugs,
She has picked them up outside and kept them in jugs.
She finds them in floorboards and underneath rugs.
She teaches them tricks with kisses and hugs.

The people all gather under the tent,
Amazed to behold such a special event
The children and parent’s are happy they went.
They all think it is well worth the two quarters they spent.

All summer long, they travel around
Down highways and by- ways, from city to town.
Performing their acts and making the news.
They have even played Peoria with glowing reviews…

I try. Lord knows, I. Try. But, every time I sit down to tell you about all of the fantastical adventures of my non-stop, thrill a minute, too freaking fabulous to describe with my limited writing skills lifestyle, all I get is…



Cheese. Cheese. And more Cheese! She will not go away, this kid. For weeks now, children’s rhymes, that is it. Happy, sweet, fuchsia drenched prose. Dripping with maple syrup and cotton candy sauce. I am just waiting for the fucking unicorns.


Where is the bitchy? What happened to the sarcasm? I am afraid I have lost my cynical charm.

Have I mentioned that I do not like children? I thought so.

I need an exorcism, or maybe forty-two back-to-back episodes of TLC’s Bringing Home Baby.

It just sucks. Believe me; I am aware that it sucks.

Send Help!

PS-love you L.

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