Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Have You Seen Me?

Guess what?
I STOLE A CAMERA!
I know! I thought it was awesome too!
After almost two years of posting crappy cell phone pictures and stolen Google images, I decided enough was enough, so I took matters into my own hands.
I STOLE A CAMERA!

I can only imagine how grateful you must be.
Don’t thank me yet.
I can’t figure out how to work the stupid thing.
The only person who could help me is Mr. Fussy Pants (My boss), and I can’t ask him, because I stole it from him.
Dammit
I guess crime really doesn’t pay (Just thinking about how relieved Big Judes (My Mom) is right now to know that I am not a shoplifter makes me giggle a little).

I had huge plans for that camera. I was going to thrill and delight you with poignant photo essays. I had planned to take a picture of my butt. Well, the butt thing was more for my enjoyment really, not so much yours. I wanted to see if I could Photoshop it into a cute butt.

But, (Speaking of butts. We were weren’t we? Yes, I think so). But! The real reason I heisted the camera was so that I could get candid shots of all of my friends and family showing their boobs and barfing black-eyed peas celebrating New Years Eve tomorrow. I am almost positive that those pictures could have been worth a few bucks, or at least a few embarrassing reminders of how drunk happy we all were when we finally sent that Bitch 2009 packing.

Don’t worry; I still have time to figure this thing out. And if I can’t? Well, then I will just steal a picture of someone else’s friends boobs New Years Eve Celebration.

Be Safe,

Out-
T

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