Thursday, February 25, 2010

To My Beloved Harbingers of Toxic Assets


Dear Homely Lateral File Cabinets,

My beloved harbingers of toxic assets,my precious repositories of dental records, I have my eye on you. You can't hide behind your practical beige- beigeiness any longer. I am unfazed by the poopish pallor of your factory finish. I do not care that you weigh 600lbs; your size does not deter me. I am a girl. - You can't give me a hernia.
(Can you? shit, I hope not).

When I look in your drawers, I see heaven. I have big plans for you my lovely oversized tuna cans.

I want to make you fancy- like this!

 Or, possibly this

Let me show you the world!

And if you resist?

I will put your big boxy asses right back on craigslist where you came from.
So watch it.

Love always,
(Or at least until the cheapskate "Client" forks over enough dough for a proper piece of furniture.)
Pygmalion T

images: i suck...no credits for any of them.sorry, sorry

2 comments:

Connie said...

I'm jealous... not the decor project, just the cabinets. Our place is seriously lacking in cabinets, shelves and drawers. NO linen closet. No drawers in the bathroom. sigh... I will watch your project progress with support and envy.

Tobi said...

Don't be envious C. Watching this may be like watching a train wreck!