I have to do everything around here. I swear it is taxing.
This morning for example-
“You see Officer, at approximately 0-nine hundred hours I was on the balcony
I spotted two suspects in a late model Ford Bronco, maroon in color, license number TXthr2367. One suspect was breaking the windows on the subject vehicle with what appeared to be a crowbar. I immediately shouted
When they heard me, the suspects left the scene in the Ford Bronco headed eastbound on Stupidity St. I called 911, located the owner of the vehicle, questioned the Manager of the employment agency next door and obtained the suspects names, addresses, phone numbers and drivers license numbers from the job applications they had filled out moments prior to their crime spree, while I waited for you to arrive.
Here is my contact information in case you have further questions. Now, if you will excuse me I have to go back to
“Thank you Ma’am for trying to help but I am afraid that there is no way to tie the suspects from the vehicle to the employment agency, so I won’t be able to use that information”
“Did I hear you correctly Officer? Did you really just say what I think you said?”
“I’m sorry Ma’am, but there is no way to use the information you provided.”
"Yes, I heard that part. Use the license plate number (Duh). The car should be registered to one of the suspects (Insert deep sigh and eye roll here).
I mean did I just hear you call me Ma’am?
You DID NOT just call me Ma'am!
"Fine then Officer, are you going to go arrest these