Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Strange Brew

Here is the dish. Some of my week in review.

Sugar Daddy (the boyfriend formerly known as Doo-Doo head) to Tobi:
SD: Why are you always... such a …such a …?
T: Bitch?
SD: Well, I was going to say democrat, but yeah, that too.
T: I am NOT a fucking democrat!

Tobi screaming at the television to Lauren on The Hills Monday Night:
ENOUGH OF THE DAMN MOUSTACHE! Waxgoddammit or stop drinking the grape Kool-Aid!

Mr. Fussy Pants (the a.d.d-- o.c.d. boss) to Tobi:
F: Just answer the damn question! Why do you keep calling me Joe? What the hell is in your eye?
T: It worked for Sarah Palin

Tobi to customer on phone:
T: Did you receive any kind of vocational training while you were in prison?
Customer: I wasn’t there long enough.
Tobi: Would they let you go back?
Customer: I won’t know until the twenty- fifth of next month.

Vice President of PTA to Tobi:
VP:Before you can attend a board meeting, I will need you to sign a confidentiality agreement. We do not want anyone to air our dirty laundry.
Tobi: Reeeeallly??
VP: Will you?
Tobi: Yes, yes I will.
VP: Do you need a pen?
Tobi: For what?
VP: To sign the confidentiality agreement.
Tobi: I’m not going to sign the agreement. I am just going to air your dirty laundry. Do you spell Muffy with a y or ie?

Office supply Salesman at Fussy & Bitchy Mortgage Inc. after seeing Shirley (the office cat) at the front door.
Salesman: Is this your attack cat?
T: Yes, don’t touch her she bites!
Salesman: Well, she looks ferocious. I was almost afraid to come in.
T: Well, then she almost did her job.

The great part is that it is only Wednesday.
I wonder how many people I can piss off by Friday.
Connie said...

I'm going to have to remember that Sarah Palin thing.. confuse the locals..

karey m. said...

i rarely laugh out loud when reading blogs...if only because i'd be ashamed that i'd have to use that dreaded LOL.

{sheepish shrug.} i LOL'd. LOTS.

yes...your hate makes me giggle. esme and you...perfect match. xoxo.

Tobi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tobi said...

Sorry about the deleted comment, temporary insanity. Sometimes my brain is faster than my fingers.

Ahem...let me try this again.

C- Yeah, really don'cha know (wink)
Ok, so my Sarah Palin imitation sucks. I hope that I won't have to work on it!

Karey- BTW, I am SFH that you LOL’ D

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