Here is the dish. Some of my week in review.
Sugar Daddy (the boyfriend formerly known as Doo-Doo head) to Tobi:
SD: Why are you always... such a …such a …?
SD: Well, I was going to say democrat, but yeah, that too.
T: I am NOT a fucking democrat!
Tobi screaming at the television to Lauren on The Hills Monday Night:
ENOUGH OF THE DAMN MOUSTACHE! Waxgoddammit or stop drinking the grape Kool-Aid!
Mr. Fussy Pants (the a.d.d-- o.c.d. boss) to Tobi:
F: Just answer the damn question! Why do you keep calling me Joe? What the hell is in your eye?
T: It worked for Sarah Palin
Tobi to customer on phone:
T: Did you receive any kind of vocational training while you were in prison?
Customer: I wasn’t there long enough.
Tobi: Would they let you go back?
Customer: I won’t know until the twenty- fifth of next month.
Vice President of PTA to Tobi:
VP:Before you can attend a board meeting, I will need you to sign a confidentiality agreement. We do not want anyone to air our dirty laundry.
VP: Will you?
Tobi: Yes, yes I will.
VP: Do you need a pen?
Tobi: For what?
VP: To sign the confidentiality agreement.
Tobi: I’m not going to sign the agreement. I am just going to air your dirty laundry. Do you spell Muffy with a y or ie?
Office supply Salesman at Fussy & Bitchy Mortgage Inc. after seeing Shirley (the office cat) at the front door.
Salesman: Is this your attack cat?
T: Yes, don’t touch her she bites!
Salesman: Well, she looks ferocious. I was almost afraid to come in.
T: Well, then she almost did her job.
The great part is that it is only Wednesday.
I wonder how many people I can piss off by Friday.