Friday, September 12, 2008

Dear Jesus

Dear Jesus,

I know it is not Sunday, (Please do not send swarming locusts or bolts of lightning to kill me for implying that I go to church on Sunday) . I have recently received some information that I feel needs clarification. I saw this sign in your yard this morning. Are you serious about this? I really need to know. (I think we both understand why). I would appreciate it if you could review the attachments below and advise me accordingly. (At your convenience of course).

This is a revelation (I am throwing in a subtle New Testament reference for good measure).

Is this true?

Good Lord!
I thought this is what I was going to hell for.




Then there is this. Please, tell me you didn't have anything to do with this.


Thank you for your time and attention. I look forward to hearing from you in the near future.
Sincerely,
T.


Dear Sinner,
In response to your inquiry dated 09/12/2008. I am in receipt of your request. Please be aware that I am currently engaged in matters of higher importance. While I appreciate your concern, I must ask that you use your own best judgement. I can assure you I am aware of the issues you have presented. My impression of the current situation is that none of you are very smart. You can tell them I said so.
Yours truly,
Jesus

Out-T.

4 comments:

Old House Junkie said...

Tobi, There appear to be doubt now that the quotation came from Voltaire, but I've always believed it: “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” I don't think I can defend these good midwestern folks. It's a dark time in Topeka I would imagine.

You'll be glad to know that Sarah Palin has a pipeline to God. I heard her testify in a church service that the war in Iraq is a holy war. That it is God's task for us.

I was so mistaken to think that God's task for us was to turn the other cheek, forgive 70 times 7 and treat others as we want to be treated.

I can't wait for God to tell her where the WMD are so she can prove Bush right! ohj

Tobi said...

This post was inspired by a discussion with Mr. Pants and others today about SP (he likes her) and the issue you mention. The Ohio minister who posted the "kissed a girl" sign came up; I mentioned Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church. No one believed me. I had to go to You Tube to prove my point.

This has been going on in Topeka for many years. Recently they have branched out. The agenda for this month includes Calif. Neb. Ar. and other cities in Ks. Several members of the Phelps clan are State of KS. Employees! Un-Effing believable

Connie said...

Phelps and his f'ed up cult-following (how could people drag children to that kind of protest?!?) make me feel even more strongly that pseudo-military or some other kind of civil service be MANDATORY for all Americans. Say, for at least two years, and a BARE minimum of 100 miles away from home. Not for the military might (I was a volunteer soldier and was glad I didn't have to serve next to draftees! Piss someone off, then give them a gun.. no, no, no... ), or for the use of free manpower (though that would be helpful), but to get ignorant buttheads like this off their couch and forcibly introduced to the rest of what we like to call reality. Forced to move AWAY from the mildewy stagnant sheltered and festering places they have stewed in all of their lives, and made to integrate and ADAPT to the rest of the world.

Just an idea. Don't think it would ever get me elected though.

Tobi said...

C- I think you are on to something. I wonder what kind of chance these kids will have for a normal life after they are out of their parents care? It is so sad to see kids being raised by lunatics.