Saturday, September 27, 2008

Seven Virgins And a Mule

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends. We're so glad you could attend. Come inside! Come inside!

There behind a glass is a real blade of grass. be careful as you pass. Move along! Move along!

Come inside, the show's about to start. guaranteed to blow your head apart.

Rest assured you'll get your money's worth.

The greatest show in Heaven, Hell or Earth. You've got to see the show, it's a dynamo. You've got to see the show, it's rock and roll ....

Right before your eyes we pull laughter from the skies. And he laughs until he cries. then he dies then he dies.

Come inside the shows about to start. Guaranteed to blow your head apart.
You gotta see the show. It's a dynamo. You gotta see the show. It's rock and roll.

I bet you knew I would not be able to keep my mouth shut all weekend, didn’t you? I tried. I really tried. If I had a Zen place, I would go there. There are only twelve episodes of Californication in existence. Unfortunately, (For both of us) they didn’t last all weekend. Sugar Daddy (The boyfriend formerly known as doo-doo head) took off for parts unknown (smart guy). Apparently, I am not pleasant company— imagine that! Please allow me to take this opportunity to apologize for my surly disposition of late. If I knew how, I would bake you cookies.
It is my greatest wish that we will all look back on this one day and laugh. “Silly me, I thought we were totally screwed. Look, here we are, on easy street! Our government knew what they were doing the whole time!” It could happen, right? I mean, I thought the world was ending when I was fifteen, and I had to call The Peach (My Dad) to pick me up from jail. It only took ten years, (or so) for that to be funny.

Dear Congress,
This is not the time for political posturing or partisan politics. Some of the most brilliant minds in the world are here in America. Use them PLEASE! Call on members of the private sector to help solve this problem.
P.S. Don't Fuck this up.
The news of WaMu’s failure was barely a headline. Wachovia will likely be next. China has suspended credit to the United States. Our credit markets are essentially frozen. It is not out of the question that companies will not be able to make payroll. It is possible that there will be no cash in your local ATM machine. This is THAT serious. No one wants to hand over a blank check. The idea that we should let the banks fail is naive and dangerous. We must restore confidence in our markets along with implementing strong measures to stimulate growth in the private sector NOW. Keep your eye on TED , as TED goes, so goes our future.
There I said it. I feel better. I am off to find a trashy novel…
Soon the Gypsy Queen in a glaze of Vaseline. Will perform on guillotine. What a scene! What a scene!

Next upon the stand will you please extend a hand to Alexander's Ragtime Band . dixieland. dixieland.

See the show.

Performing on a stool we've a sight to make you drool.

Seven virgins and a mule.
Keep it cool. Keep it cool.

We would like it to be known the exhibits that were shown, were exclusively our own, All our own. All our own.

Come and see the show! Come and see the show! Come and see the show!

Connie said...

A fine rant. Illustrated and in harmony. Thanks. Needed to be said.

Simple Answer said...

And with credit frozen, can we live within our means?

Why are all the adds on your page having to do with mules? Seriously. Oh, the pic of Obama. That would account for it.

I'm recommending Pillars of the Earth. For the trashy novel.

Tobi said...

C- Thanks for indulging me.

SA- Point taken. This is an epic pyramid scheme years in the making. I cannot help but think that there is a way to stabilize the markets, regulate the industry and punish the offenders through reform rather than handouts. Private investors should be allowed to pick the bones of these failed companies. If they are insolvent, they should be forced to file bankruptcy. There must be accountability, but when thrift institutions are failing and money market funds are at risk the government must act. These weekend congressional marathons have produced such winners as the patriot act and the prescription drug act, not winning endorsements for the efficacy of our lawmakers. Smut and donkeys…That about sums it up, no?

Bluestreak said...

I expected nothing less of you! Your rants are far better than cookies.

Tobi said...

BS- I left a comment re: this song and mothers on your blog last week. From the moment I typed the title it has been stuck in my head. I am sooo blaming (In the nicest possible way of course because I am sure they are all lovely women) my mom, and your mom, AND your husband's mom, for my poor impulse control.

Old House Junkie said...

Tobi, We should have seen this coming years ago with the release of that movie "Wall Street"? All investment banking has been about has been producing a profit, not a product.

To save pennies on our goods we have shipped all our manufacturing jobs overseas, leaving all of us to be service workers. Real estate sales, investment banking, mortgage broker, government worker, fast food worker, superstore cashier-we're all service workers.

I didn't really forsee this crisis, but I have been saying for years "we can't all work at Wal-Mart, someone in the U.S. has got to be producing something for WalMart workers to sell"

My friend's suggestion was to divide that $ equally between the tax filing adult citizens. Surely folks could make some mortgage payments with that, which would help the ailing financial institutions.

I'm no Bible scholar; haven't opened one in years, but I remember this: The love of money is the root of all evil.

We've stepped in a big pile this time and I don't believe the war machine will be this economy's salvation.

salah said...

hey...i stopped at ur blog and it sounds nice...feel free to wee my blog, and add it to ur favourites and i will do the same..waiting for ur opnion..

Tobi said...

Ohj- A big pile indeed! Alas, I am afraid it is time to pay the piper. Unfortunately, it is our children, their children and their children's children that will foot the bill.

S- Thank you, I visited your Egypt blog. Your photography makes me a wee bit embarrassed about the cell phone photos around here.

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