If it is important that the carpet match the drapes, then it makes sense that the valances should coordinate as well. Don’t you agree? I selected a lovely auburn shade, Mocha Splash, by L’Oreal, because I am worth it. I waited until this morning, partly because I am lazy and partly because impending rain made it seem more like fall. Mocha Splash is an Autumnal hue selected specifically for the changing season. I had visions of new bouncy, shiny, oh -so rich and lovely hair. The Breck girl reincarnate with matching valances. Because I am worth it.
Now I am sitting at my desk straining to see the computer monitor through dark sunglasses. I have concocted a story of conjunctivitis. The threat of a communicable disease seems to have convinced my co-workers to keep their distance. It is not a total lie. My eyes are pink, from crying, or a bad reaction to nail polish remover, or both maybe.
The box clearly said, "Do not use on the eye area, blindness can occur." Pffft...What do they know? I am sure people do this all the time. Shouldn't your eyebrows match your hair? Yes, I think they should. Why didn't I think of this a long time ago?
I still cannot believe how quickly thirty minutes turned into ninety. Hair and eyebrows were slathered in goop. I donned a lovely purple shower cap to protect the dreaded white carpet from dye drippage and poured a cup of coffee. Shortly thereafter came the code blue from the laundry room. The geriatric washing machine was suddenly rendered incontinent and was spewing suds on the floor. Dammit!
When the emergency was over, I stepped into the shower to wash away the hair dye and Spring Fresh Gain laundry detergent. I got out of the shower and looked in the mirror. OH MY GOD! I am Groucho’s other brother, Fucko!
A jackass, dumbshit sort of person, who tries to be smart about things, although ends up with their head up their ass.
No amount of scrubbing, scouring or caustic chemical application can dull the permanent pigment that is Mocha Splash. It appears that the warning on the box was correct. Hair dye applied to the eye area can indeed cause blindness. By this time next week I am certain I will be blind from wearing my sunglasses indoors.