Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Just The Facts or Coughing Up A Fur Ball--You Decide

We interrupt today’s regularly scheduled programming for a rant about the mortgage crisis. I am sure no one wants to hear about it. If I do not release some of the pressure behind my eyes, my head is going to explode.

Less than one week ago I promised to stay off the soapbox. Here I am again. Please forgive me; I am planning a Google search for anger management classes at the conclusion of this post.

I am no expert. I probably should not be offering opinions. You are welcome to leave now, or stick around to tell me what a twit- bird I am.

In response to all of the ridiculosity I have experienced lately I have this to say -


If you are the unfortunate recipient of a so-called adjustable rate, exotic, liar, zero interest, NINA, NIVA, NINJA, Step, 100%, Rub a dub dub three men in a tub loan. You are screwed. There is no act of Congress, or God that will help you. The truth is you are a Dumb Ass. Anyone who chooses an adjustable product when mortgage interest rates are at record lows and real estate prices are at record highs is an idiot. This includes you.

Please admit your greed. Tell the truth. You mismanaged your credit. You cheated on your taxes. You were unable to save even a modest down payment on the American dream. You were arrogant to believe that you did not need any type of homebuyer education. You knew what you were doing remember? Now deal with it.

If you are one of the jack asses that pulled imaginary equity out of your house (multiple times in some cases) to finance vacations, swimming pools, pay off credit card debt or buy a new set of double D boobs, sorry about your luck. You are the one who gave up your 30 year fixed loan in favor of an adjustable mortgage, because the introductory rate was only 5.5%. If you cannot make the payment on a house you have owned for ten years and you cannot sell the home because values in your area are 40% lower than the inflated appraisal you received from your buddies at Countrywide, tough shit. Let the house go back. Live in your BMW. The one you leased with cash from your last re-fi.

To the US Treasury Department, for taking over Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. Thanks, your check is in the mail. 200 Billion? No, problem. I believe you when you say that it will probably be much less. That is what you said before the take over right? That there was not going to be a take over. Right? Tell all of those bond and Preferred stock holders not to worry about a thing. America has got their asses covered.

I love the time out analogy. Yes, let's put Fanny and Freddie in time out, so the new administration can deal with them later. In fact, let’s wash their mouths out with soap while we are at it to prove we are good parents. Even though we have left the little darlings unattended while they fabricated their balance sheets. Much like the bad children of Enron before them.

To all of the fine men and women of the US Congress.. I seem to remember that you were the ones encouraging Freddie and Fannie to loosen their credit standards so that “Every American could enjoy the privilege of homeownership.”

Guess what? Not every American should own a home. It is a privilege. Homeownership should be reserved for the people who have shown a history of stable employment, residency, and credit management. Believe me when I tell you that is not “every American”.

At the peak of the housing bubble I seem to remember all of you singing the praises of Alan Greenspan, home builders, mortgage lenders, and gullible home buyers. Did this have anything to do with the Freddie and Fannie lobbyists on Capitol Hill? You remember them right? The ones that have spent 170 million dollars lobbying since 1998. The people who contributed 19.3 million dollars to republican and democratic campaigns since 1990. They were fined a record 3.8 million dollars for violating Election laws. Remember? You fat bastards ate the food, played the golf, cast the votes, and looked the other way while Freddie and Fannie (private companies) grew to the size of Violet Beauregarde at the chocolate factory, insuring over 60% of the mortgages originated in the United States and 95% of loans sold on the secondary market. Could money be the reason that so little has been said about the corruption within the organization? Who will pay for your campaigns now?

You encouraged foreign investment in Freddie and Fannie with your US Government guarantees and now are being forced to put up or shut up. China demands it, the health of the US economy requires it, the world markets are counting on it. The problem is you are putting up my money. All of our money.

This is the part where I will try to compose myself. The HCK…HCK…HCK… you are hearing is me trying to cough up this fur ball. Here is my bottom line. The point of this hateful rant.

Please remember that Fannie and Freddie ARE NOT and NEVER HAVE BEEN sub-prime lenders. Sub-prime mortgages were the paper that Freddie and Fannie would not buy. They were the finance companies like New Century and Option 1 who were encouraged to run amuck without regulation by our lawmakers. The end result was the implosion of the industry and the failure of over 250 banks and financial institutions in the last three years. We are not at the bottom. This is not just about mortgages. The mortgage debacle is a symptom of economy’s problems. If you are not familiar with the Housing Reform Act that was signed by President Bush July 30th. please read it. This is your government's answer to the problem.

Go vote. When you do, remember that the people you elect at the state and local levels are as important as the people you send to the White House. Keep in mind that Freddie and Fannie have made contributions to both Barack Obama and John McCain this year. The Mayor you elect today could be our Vice President four years from now.

Facts or Fur-balls?
You decide.

(insert crickets)
Out-T.

image:http://www.dvdtvshows.com/catalog/Sm_Dragnet_5DVD_25Eps_MAD00419.jpg

8 comments:

Simple Answer said...

AMEN SISTER! I'm not sure where people got the idea it was their God given right to have granite countertops.

Where could we get this published? This needs to be forwarded, and forwarded, and forwarded.

Bluestreak said...

Awesome post. Awesome awesome awesome.

Help. We´re idiots.

karey m. said...

had to kirtsy. duh.

Barchbo said...

I love you.

Found this on Kirtsy - love it!

I'm in education, so of course I don't own a home. I knew going into the field that would a byproduct of my choice. The bigger point - I never expected to. I know so many people who think it's their "right" because it's the American Dream. Since when did "dream" and "birthright" become synonyms.

Connie said...

Thinking of the mortgage SCAM that is going on does not make me think of furballs... more like what comes out the other end...

Anonymous said...

Found on Kirtsy. Thanks for writing what I have been thinking for a long time. We unfortunately have had a house on the market for 2.5 years now. We have done everything the right way, except my husband being transferred to another part of the state. We have been living with my parents, but at least we can make our mortgage payments on our "very modest" home. Thanks to all the idiots my house is in a flooded market of cheap houses and foreclosures. What house would you buy?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Old House Junkie said...

Tobi, Thank you for this post!
I had an overly-long rambling comment going and decided to edit. What the comment boiled down to is that the citizens of our contry need to take some PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY for our actions. I could really rant about this topic.

However, today I find myself wanting to rant about Hilary Clinton supporters. Are we as females so blind as to think we would want to jump ship and vote for 4 more years of the same hawkish, lying, cruel politics we've had for the past 8 years just because the Vice-Presidential candidate has a vagina? I'm so afraid we are that I'm getting my "Living in Costa Rica" book back off the shelf and studying up.

Vagina or penis, Black or White, it's not about the candidate it's about the party's platform. Eight years of Republican highjinks is about all I can tolerate. ohj

Tobi said...

SA- Love the Granite observation! That really sums it up.

BS- I think "idiot" is kind. I fear that many more banks will follow Freddie and Fannie. Watch WAMU & Lehman Bros. as they circle the bowl. The good news? Rates dropped Tues. Now is a great time to buy a house...Oh wait, no one can get a fucking loan!

Karey- Once again, Thank you. I fully expected to be flamed for this post.

B- Your comment inspires another rant. Could someone please explain to me why anyone should have to choose between being in education and having financial security/homeownership? This is just WRONG.

C- I was trying to be nice...I agree with you 100%

Anon. - You are a perfect example of the lunacy of the Housing Reform Act. Here is the rub. IF, you had taken an adjustable rate loan. IF, you were currently delinquent on your mortgage. You would now be eligible to refinance into a fixed rate loan BELOW market rates, and write the note down to CURRENT MARKET VALUE.

I would be curious to know if your property taxes have been adjusted to reflect the lower value of your property. My guess is they have not.

The real "victims" ( Their word not mine) of the situation are the responsible borrowers who purchased homes in the last five years, who are making payments as agreed. In some cases, these people will need to make payments for fifteen years before they are at break even on their loan to value.

Then there are the homeowners (like you) who need to sell and cannot because of the glut of foreclosures on the market. Even if there is a willing buyer, there will still (in many cases) be appraisal and loan approval issues. We are bailing out the wrong people.

OHJ- The only thing Hilary and Palin have in common is a vag. I think both of our choices are scary for very different reasons. You are cordially invited to guest post here if you feel the need to vent. I can tell you it has medicinal effects.