Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Would You Like Fries With That?

Just when you think there is not one single thing to smile about; when you are convinced the world will end by Friday; when you have stared at the flashing cursor on your computer screen for three days without being able to think of one single thing to write about that does not pertain to our impending doom, that is the moment that your a.d.d, o.c.d, germ-a-phobic, metrosexual, damn near perfect, never get his hands dirty boss, trips over the handle to your stunning new fall handbag. (The handbag that you purchased in spite of the fact that very soon you will have no use for a stunning new handbag, because the world is ending on Friday).

For the first time in days, you laugh! You laugh because Mr. Fussy Pants trips while carrying a pint-sized container of Bar B -Que sauce. When the sauce flies six feet in the air, then rains down, covering the walls and the carpet of your office, not to mention your stunning new handbag, you laugh, because when your boss is covered in sauce? That is nothing short of hilarious. It is pee in your pants funny.

When your sauce covered boss (who looks like an extra in a scene from the Texas Chain Saw Massacre) threatens to fire you, or kill you, if you do not shut up immediately this just adds fuel to the fire. You cannot stop. You continue to laugh until tears roll down your cheeks. When the only sound you can make is an intermittent snort because you cannot breathe--this my friends is greatness! It makes life worth living. It gives you something to blog about. It is a reminder that it is only Tuesday. We still have three whole days until the world ends.


Barb said...

OMG... thanks for the visual... I'm still giggling out loud [picturing MY boss]

Simple Answer said...

Priceless image.

Connie said...

The boss I had (before I quit) would have been laughing just as hard... a sense of humor is a GOOD thing to have ... esp. when flying BBQ sauce is involved.

Bluestreak said...

See that´s the kind of thing that would happen to me...and my bosses would be standing there shaking their heads at my clumsiness.

The House of Beauty and Culture said...


Old House Junkie said...

Tobi, you might as well find something to laugh about, don't want to have red, puffy eyes when the world ends.

Mr. FP should be glad this happened. I'll bet the office will be more sparkling than ever once the sauce is cleaned up.

Another demonstration of the dangers of eating at work: Today I bit into a cherry tomato and juice and seeds splattered all over the papers I was working on. I simply swiped the mess off with a (clean) tissue and consider the papers suitable for submission to HQ.

Any questions from them will destroy my illusion that no one there actually reads any of my required submissions. They've never mentioned the yogurt or salad dressing stains on previous work. Perhaps they would take note of a chocolate smear? ohj

ps: a blogging dry spell is to be expected. I'm sure not even the best comedy writers produce gems every day! Do you need more questions?

Tobi said...

I bet it the last time Mr. Fussy Pants pays for lunch. EVER!

Anonymous said...

Great one! Let me guess...you had to clean it up! I'm sure fussy was too mortified to unBBQ the office!!!

Tobi said...

BFSK S.- Greatness I tell you! I smile everytime I pass Dickey's BBQ.

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