Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Gummy Worms and Dry Erase Markers
There are no black dry erase markers in Fort Worth Texas. If your OCD boss asks you to “Pick up a couple black dry erase markers” it is a trick. Just say no. You will not find them anywhere. Trust me.
Why? Because, school started yesterday. Every child in the surrounding area had a supply list that included two black dry erase markers. Let us think about this for a moment. There are twenty- two children in each elementary class. Each child brings two dry erase markers. That is forty- four dry erase markers per class. There are 180 days of school required by the state of Texas. That means that each teacher gets a new black dry erase marker every four days. What do they do with all of these markers?
Seriously, I need to know. Do teachers write on bathroom walls then feel guilty and erase the offending comments? Do they trade them in the Teachers lounge for Little Debbie snack cakes? Is there a black market for black dry erase markers, or do they wait until nap- time then draw handlebar mustaches on sleeping kindergarteners? You could transcribe the complete volume of War and Peace and only use one marker. This is insanity.
I made seven stops on my quest. I thought about hanging out in the school parking lot and bribing first graders with Gummy Worms to give up their markers. I decided against it. Teachers are probably wise to that ploy.
In the end blue was the best I could do. My head hangs in shame. I will be forced to admit to Mr. Fussy Pants (My ADD, OCD boss) that I have failed at my appointed task. I will also be forced to admit that there are sixty dollars of pending charges on my company credit card. Who knew that there were such good sales for back to school? I hope he likes his new Hannah Montana pencil holder.
What ever happened to chalk anyway?