Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Gummy Worms and Dry Erase Markers

There are no black dry erase markers in Fort Worth Texas. If your OCD boss asks you to “Pick up a couple black dry erase markers” it is a trick. Just say no. You will not find them anywhere. Trust me.

Why? Because, school started yesterday. Every child in the surrounding area had a supply list that included two black dry erase markers. Let us think about this for a moment. There are twenty- two children in each elementary class. Each child brings two dry erase markers. That is forty- four dry erase markers per class. There are 180 days of school required by the state of Texas. That means that each teacher gets a new black dry erase marker every four days. What do they do with all of these markers?

Seriously, I need to know. Do teachers write on bathroom walls then feel guilty and erase the offending comments? Do they trade them in the Teachers lounge for Little Debbie snack cakes? Is there a black market for black dry erase markers, or do they wait until nap- time then draw handlebar mustaches on sleeping kindergarteners? You could transcribe the complete volume of War and Peace and only use one marker. This is insanity.

I made seven stops on my quest. I thought about hanging out in the school parking lot and bribing first graders with Gummy Worms to give up their markers. I decided against it. Teachers are probably wise to that ploy.

In the end blue was the best I could do. My head hangs in shame. I will be forced to admit to Mr. Fussy Pants (My ADD, OCD boss) that I have failed at my appointed task. I will also be forced to admit that there are sixty dollars of pending charges on my company credit card. Who knew that there were such good sales for back to school? I hope he likes his new Hannah Montana pencil holder.

What ever happened to chalk anyway?

Simple Answer said...

I know why they need so many. But I'm not telling.

Tobi said...

I'll give you gummy worms if you tell!

Connie said...

Just thinking of that many dry erase markers gives me a headache from the imagined fumes.. erk!

Old House Junkie said...

Tobi, Here's where I reveal my loser status: I ran into a similar problem today while shopping for rabbit ears that will pick up digital signals!

Clerks in two different stores said, "You know the students came back to University this week." Apparently, college students have a compelling need for rabbit ears. I, myself, am hoping to be able to watch some trashy reality tv without paying cable's extortion to do so.

Loser, I know. Damn those college students, why can't they stay at home?


Tobi said...

C- Oh my, I feel like I should offer you pie! I would really, but everyone knows I can't cook. How about a Pop Tart,or a blue dry erase marker? They smell like grapes,sort of, or bus exhaust...I'm not sure.

OHJ- You still have a few weeks before the good trash starts. Damn those college students anyway.
Where have you been?? Details please.

Bluestreak said...

Ok, so I´m not the only one that goes to the office supply store and ends up being utterly tempted to buy stuff. I don´t know what it is about those sticky posts and organizers that gets me going.

karey m. said...

and this is precisely why my girlies attend the british school.

they still use chalk.

but they spell it like chaulk.

Tobi said...

BS- No,you are not alone. I could spend hours. I have a Sharpie problem.

Karey- The British are so practical. I bet they don't use a new stick of chaulk every four days, sheesh!

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