Saturday, August 16, 2008

Just Say No!

I should have listened to Nancy Reagan. Maybe I am screwed right now because I thought I knew more than Nancy did. It is possible. I bet I am not the first person who ignored Nancy and lived to regret it. Dammit, I should have just said no.

I have no problem telling Girl Scouts, Avon Ladies and annoying missionaries from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter- day Saints to piss off. That is right. I told Sister Laura and Sister Karen to take a hike. “Get off my porch before I go all Jehovah’s Witness on you” I believe is what I said. I can say no. Usually.

Sometimes my mouth writes checks my ass can’t cash. Today for example, Mr. Fussy Pants (My Add, OCD boss) came in to my office.

Tobi thought: It is Saturday for God's Sake. Go away and leave me alone. Shouldn’t you be playing Warcraft or something? Those shoes are ugly. Skechers? Hello?…Dork.
Tobi Said: "What’s up?"

Fussy: “How is your new house coming along, is it still a big mess?”

Tobi Thought: Big mess? Projects. Those are PROJECTS, damn you! Normal people do not live in operating rooms. Sterile is not a d├ęcor style. Tell your wife I said so. Big mess, Pffft… Why all the questions Deputy Fife?
Tobi Said: “It is fabulous. You should see it.”
Tobi Thought: Hell, I am going to hell. Liar-Liar pants on fire.

Fussy: "Good I have a client who may want to buy it. We had a deal working on a house in your neighborhood but it fell apart. I want to set an appointment to show it on Sunday. Is 2:00 all right? It is not a mess is it."

Tobi Thought: NONONO! It is a mess- A huge mess- A hot mess- there is poodle barf on the carpet- OHMYGODNOOOOOO- Laundryanddishesandhaironthecountertops…NO WAY! SAY NO!
Tobi Said: "2:00 is fine. I am telling you right now I will not sell it cheap. It is way too fabulous!"
Tobi Thought: Shit- I should have listened to Nancy.

So now what? Now I clean like a crazy person. Because, clearly, I am a crazy person. Potentially a homeless crazy person.

Out- (Of my mind) T.

5 comments:

Simple Answer said...

I hope they offer you a boatload for it!

Ry said...

It's funny how somehow, saying "No" is one of the hardest things to learn.

I'm sure the showing will go well! Good luck!

maison21 said...

i hope you get an offer so good, you just say "yes"!

Bluestreak said...

once we had a missionary come by our house and ask if we had thought about our afterlife. He kept pushing and pushing and I was cracking up from the other room, watching my Spanish husband deal with this with his broken English. The missionary finally asked my husband "Do you want to go to heaven?" and my husband said, "No."

I don´t think he wanted to find that guy there.

That was pretty much the end of the conversation.

Tobi said...

I am keeping fingers crossed for an offer (I think). The potential buyers looked a little like LDS members, after this post I think karma says no.