8:02 AM--Hair dye on head (Also on cabinet, floor, and curious Poodle)—Check
8:12AM—Teeth whitening strips in place—Check—(Note to self: Do not attempt to drink coffee, tastes like minty ass).
8:17 AM—Firming and toning mask applied to face (and; butt, just for grins).—Check
8:29 AM—Eyebrows tweezed—Check
8:44 AM—Eyebrow pencil located to attempt reasonable facsimile of former left eyebrow—Check
9:01 AM—Legs shaved—Fail--Default to knee socks.
9:15AM-- Assemble appropriate work attire—Fail—Fuzzy slippers and knee socks deemed inappropriate.
9:22 AM-- Abort mission and eat donuts—Check