Sunday, January 10, 2010
You’ve come a Long Way Baby
Lately I have tried to be nicer to telemarketers that annoy the crap out of me at work because, let’s face it. Today’s telemarketer was probably yesterday’s Mortgage Broker, and frankly, I don’t feel like tempting the gods.
I try. I swear. I try.
(Insert ringing phone).
T (Thinks): SHIT! Is someone going to answer that, because my fingernails are wet and it would be inconvenient to pick up the phone. (Have I mentioned that the mortgage biz is a little slow right now? I thought so. PS. - Fuck you Shaun Donovan).
T Says: “Thank you for calling Fussy & Bitchy Inc. How may I help you?”
Annoying Telemarketer: “Is Mr. Fancy Pants in?”
T (Thinks): God grant me the serenity…
T Says: "I’m sorry Ma’am there is no one here by that name. How may I help you?" (See? Trying).
Annoying Telemarketer: "Is this Fussy & Bitchy Inc.? I need to speak with Mr. Pants, or the owner, or the manager, or the person (with a penis) that makes decisions, or anyone except you. Connect me NOW! Please!"
T (Thinks): Oh. No. She. Di’int! (I’m hip that way).
T Says: “No.”