Friday, June 27, 2008

A Birthday By Any Other Name

Today the Annual Countdown to Birthday Depression begins.
I am aware another Birthday is better than the alternative.
Birthdays still suck.
I do not want any presents. There is no present in the world that will make me feel better about being yet another year older.
Presents suck.
Do not try to convince me that I am getting better with age. Older and wiser blah blah blah yap yap yap- Feh
I would like to personally thank the Texas Department of Motor Vehicles for commemorating the occasion with a new picture of my one-year-older mug on the new driver’s license I am required to obtain.
Thanks Texas DMV. You suck too.
I do not want any cakes. Imagine the lung capacity required to extinguish fourteen boxes of birthday candles.
Cake sucks.
No surprise parties. The shock may stop my geriatric heart.
Parties suck.

There is only one thing I can think of that would make me feel better.







A Halloween Party!
Halloween does not suck.

Out-T.

4 comments:

Simple Answer said...

laughing. compulsively. can't stop.

Barb said...

thanks for the belly laugh... i needed that this evening!

Tobi said...

Couldn't resist.

The Lil Bee said...

You make "bitter" very sweet, my friend. And that jack-o-lantern ass? Brilliant!