1. I am overjoyed that Taco Bell has stopped putting tomatoes on their Tacos. Now I don't have to pick them off. Tomatoes have no redeeming qualities. Tomatoes are poison. I know fruit. This is no fruit.
2. Wisdom teeth do not make you smarter.
3. If my computer knows what time it is after I shut it off, why doesn't my alarm clock? What about my microwave, or the stove? The cable box? What is the deal with that? My appliances have Alzheimer's.
4. If weeds are easy to grow, and grass is hard, why can't we all just agree to grow weeds?
5. Spiders are mean.
6. Bald men don't own combs.
7. I don't care if Diane Sawyer say's flip flops are dangerous, I'm wearing them anyway.
8. Has anyone ever really used duct tape on a duct? Plumbing pipes and kidnapping victims, yes. Ducts, no.
9. How did Batman con his way into the superhero category? He doesn't have any powers. Just a fancy toolbelt and a cool car.
10. Shouldn't the word "fetal" have something to do with feet?