INT. KITCHEN – MORNING
Fluorescent light cascades down through the disarray in a tract home kitchen. A pear-shaped woman wearing red overalls and a porkpie hat is sitting at the messy kitchen table
We’ll find out later that this woman’s name is TOBI.
She is in desperate need of a pedicure.
Oh my darlin’. Oh my darlin’. Oh my darlin’
As TOBI finishes the last of her cold coffee, VIVIAN an obstinate toy poodle saunters up to the table. The poodle sits down and casually starts to lick her butt.
Don't mind me.
Tobi keeps on singing and staring at the screen saver of her laptop computer waiting for a creative idea to blog about. She ignores the obstinate poodle.
Got any cheese?
VIVIAN the poodle exits the kitchen. She comes back minutes later with a shoe and begins chewing on the heel. It gets TOBI'S attention.
She stops singing
Give me cheese, or I'll eat the shoe...
I don't have cheese, go away. I am trying to create.
Fine then, the shoe is gonna get it. Why are you wearing that stupid hat?
I am channeling Buster Keaton. He was funny. I am trying to be funny here. Go away.
I will go if you give me cheese.
There is no cheese Dammit! Leave me alone. Does Maya Angelou have to put up with this crap?
No, she has yorkies. They don't like cheese. Why are you sitting here? Let's go outside and pee in the grass. I want cheese.
I am sitting here because this is where the magic happens. I am waiting for the magic.
Magic? You are funny! Give me the cheese.