Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Curiouser And Curiouser

"But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked."Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.""How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice."You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."

My cell phone sent me a text message Sunday. It wanted to thank me for upgrading my service, and inform me that $12.50 would be charged to my account.

Monday my cable television bill arrived. It announced that the recent changes to my high-speed Internet connection have increased my monthly charges by $25.

My electric company sent a very polite letter to let me know that changes to my contract will result in higher per kilowatt-hour charges.

My mortgage company sent an e-mail stating that after reviewing my escrow reserves they have determined that an additional $50 per month will be necessary to achieve the 16.6% cushion allowed by federal law.

All of this good news in only three days!
I swear I have fallen down the rabbit hole.
Is this happening to anyone else?
Do you think these companies are facing declining profits and this is an attempt to slide unnoticed charges past unsuspecting customers?

Well, I noticed.

My response to T-Mobile: ?4U: RUSOS? 12.50 IDTS! ^URS, TYVM. (Translation: I have a question for you. Are you stupid or something? $12.50 per month, I do not think so! Up yours. Thank you very much). The charge was removed.

The new Internet provider will be connecting service next month.

I have drafted a list of my own changes to my electric contract, which include, but are not limited to the following: Effective 07/01/2008 customer shall henceforth be referred to as Her Majesty in all communications. Further, customer requires presents. She likes presents. Presents will be expected by the first day of each month. Any present received after the 15th day of any month will be considered past due and additional swag will be necessary.

My sofa needs new cushions, not my escrow account. Countrywide Home Loans has graciously agreed to drop the extortion attempt after the error of their ways was pointed out to them by a bitchy Mortgage Broker disguised as an uninformed victim of their predatory lending practices. They have assured me that my $372.00 refund check will promptly be processed.

All of this nonsense takes a lot of time to resolve, not to mention many infuriating calls to apathetic off shore Customer Service Representatives. Being pissed off takes a lot of energy.
Thank you, for letting me vent. I promise only happy posts for the rest of the week, so help me Pre-Dispute Arbitration Agreements.

Out-T.

image: http://www.alice-in-wonderland.net/alice2a.html

7 comments:

karey m. said...

good girl! i have a friend who just lets these things slide...do you know how much money you just saved?!

Barb said...

rock star!

i'm with you on the whole 'getting jacked out of nowhere' thing. i've had a customer service (yeah, right) agent connect me to his boss to deal with my ranting a time or two (wussy, just do your job instead of passing me off to the next dude.).

now, go rest up...you'll need your energy when the next bill arrives...

Cindy said...

You have inspired me!!! (As you do on a daily basis.) I'm calling Countrywide 2DAY!


Cindy
(a.k.a. YCBW (your cousin brady's wife)

Old House Junkie said...

Tobi, My absolute favorite quote from that book! I used to have that hanging above my workstation when I was employed by someone who was certifiable! He once held a staff meeting in which he said "Your top priority is" at least 5 times naming a different priority each time. I really enjoyed seeing that today.

You go, getting it done, keeping more of you net income. It's needed for much more important things: kitchen accessories - including food, the perfect lamp, a cushy towel, and possibly shoes.

Enjoyed this post, as always.

oldhousejunkie

Tobi said...

Karey- Frugal is the new black, or least a slightly tighter shade of grey!

Barb- Rest indeed. Today I am set to confront my bank regarding their new fee schedule. Apparently they are trying to off set mortgage losses at my expense. I have divorced men for less (well not really, but I would, maybe).

MCBW C. or is it YCBW C.?!- A cyber family reunion! I have mentally reviewed all prior posts and I am happy to report that there is not one smart-ass comment in reference to MCB! (Note to self: MCB has much more dirt on T. than T. has on MCB- Try to be nice).

OHJ- Why is a raven like a writing desk???

L said...

Tobi, your writing is magnificant. If only I had such wit! And a whoop! whoop! to you for kicking arse with all manner of companies and fees!

P.S.
JUST today I received a hilarious email from my best friend, who is working a temp job at a mortgage company. And the title of her email? Why Is A Raven Like A Writing Desk.

Stop by my blog to read her email, which I have posted there because, well, she speaks the truth. It's under the post "hilarious amanda."

with love from Pittsburgh...

Tobi said...

L.- Thank you, How funny is the timing of these posts? Full moon perhaps? Poor A. at the MTG. Co.
I know how she feels.