Saturday, July 19, 2008

Barbie Saves Dream House From Foreclosure

It looks like despite her declining income Barbie will not have to worry about her Dream House hitting the foreclosure market anytime soon. In fact, it has been reported that Babs was spotted shopping for a new Pink Lamborghini to replace her tired old Corvette yesterday after she won the Paternity Suit filed against the Slutz Bratz, a $1 billion-plus doll franchise.

The lawsuit came as surprise when it was filed in 2001. "Barbie has never been the jealous or vindictive type." said Barbie's friend Midge. The Bratz girls called the lawsuit frivolous at the time, but it turns out Barbie and the Bratz do have the same Daddy. Barbie could be cashing in on her share of the family fortune as soon as July 23 when the case enters the damages phase.

Babs did not respond to repeated requests for comments yesterday (because her mouth is fused shut). It is rumored that Barbie has given notice to her employers at the Airline, NASA, Elementary School, Dental Practice, Doctors Office, Olympic Committee, and Professional Sports Teams, where she works, saying that she will be leaving and has plans to go back to her carefree lifestyle of shoe shopping and international jet setting.

Friday, Ken (Barbie’s former long time companion) told reporters He “always knew Barbie was a bitch” but no one would believe him. During their thirty plus year relationship Ken was accused of being a free loader who stayed with Barbie because she was a good cook and let him drive her Jeep. Ken went on to say "that in light of Barbie’s recent windfall," he was consulting his attorneys "about the possibility of a Palimony Suit."

The Bratz had no comment, but a representative released a statement telling the American Girls to quote, “Watch your Ass”


Anonymous said...

Damn that Barbie... What a bitch

Tobi said...

Anon.- I hear she has her sights on G.I. Joe. Tramp!

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