Thursday, July 10, 2008

Moscow On The Trinity

Do not adjust your monitors Dear Readers your eyes do not deceive you. This is in fact the very same loveliness featured on the hallowed pages of Maison 21. If you are skeptical, have a little look-see for yourself. I will be more than happy to wait for your return.

Now then, it seems M21 (I hope he does not mind the term of endearment, he is after all my "My design blog idol "as I am sure you are by now all aware). Anyway, it seems he had mixed feelings about his attraction to the vidalia-adorned monstrosity.

I however had no such reservations. I was in love from the moment I laid eyes. The shiny glitz of it all was almost more than I could bear. I SO wanted to be the first to voice my whole hearted approval in the comments section of his blog, however I am trying my best not to stalk, so I refrained. In addition, I do find the dandy chandy the tiniest bit phallic (Am I the only one?) so I thought saying I wanted to lick it may have been in poor taste.

As if one post about the "Moscow Mafioso" were not enough, imagine my delight when I saw this yesterday. Well now as you can see not only did the esteemed House Of Beauty And Culture fashion a stunning cyber space using the object of my desire, but M himself whipped up a little Moscow marvelousness.

When our talented host at Maison 21 invited bloggers to design their own bordello Ala liberacesque vignettes, how could I not? Besides, I have no shame. So without further ado (or ass kissing). I present to you "Moscow on the Trinity" my dream space, if the New Digs were in St. Petersburg, I was an old hooker and money were no object.

Before we start, do your best to picture me in the middle of all the fabulousness that is to come in my mink and cashmere robe from Bergdorf Goodman. A mere pittance at $6,500. I am aware that price dropping is tacky, but this is my fantasy.

Now for the tour:
Let us start at the top. Beautifully embellished ceilings. Custom painted murals replete with angels or cherubs or some such. The perfect backdrop, no?

The floors? Marble mosaic of course.

Look who it is! Arielle. Mermaids are always in vogue aren't they?

The settee is french, savvy designer types may question my choice, but once again it is my fantasy.

It just keeps getting better. What is this you ask? Quite simply, the mother of all bathtubs Available on E-Bay of all places. Who knew?

But wait, where else would a commode like this be more appropriate? No place, that is where. (Thank you, Kirtsy for the inspiration)

Finally (I'm sure you are relieved) the accessories vodka and caviar.

There you have it. Moscow On The Trinity. Sadly, I have no designer pedigree attached to my name so my services are not available to the Liberace loving public, but I am almost certain I can hold my own with the pros.

If all goes well very soon this over sized gilt framed wedding portrait of yours truly (It is not really me but she does look a little Ivanaish don't you think?) and my Russian mail order groom Boris, will make the perfect finishing touch.

So how did I do?

karey m. said...

you've just proved that one doesn't require a design degree to achieve liberace.

Tobi said...

I cannot wait to show you my Donald Trump!

maison21 said...

tobi tobivitch, you are now the official interior decorator of the russian mob!

that's some sparkly-ass lipstick you put on my pig- thanks for playing!

Anonymous said...

a diamond encrusted-crapper! I must have one. Do you think this could be achieved with hot glue?

felicity said...

Oh Tobi - this is FABULOUS! - I just came over from M21 and I love it!! well done! - especially the toilet!

Anonymous said...

I'm with Felicity on this one...

MaryBeth said...

Love it! I am so glad some people still have humor in their lives. It does sort of remind me of something Donald would do.
That being said, there is something about it that I like, oh god, do I have bad taste???

Tobi said...

M.21- This was fun! I have to tell you I have a new respect for you design bloggers; these posts are a pain in the azz. Thanks, for letting me play along, and Tobi Tobivitch? I. Love. That!

Anon.- Cupcake, ANYTHING can be achieved with hot glue!

Felicity- Thank you, and welcome.
I agree, there is much about the bedazzled beauty to love.

Anon.- You are too kind (or blind?) not sure, but thanks all the same.

Marybeth- I ask myself every day "What would Donald do?" As for bad taste? Clearly your taste is impeccable.

squirrelmama said...

The commode is my fave. Totally. It reminds us all that "all that glitters is not gold." No way in this case. No way no how.
Thanks for the smiles.

Tobi said...

Can you imagine the reflection off of that thing when paired with the 500 blinding watts emitted from the "Mafioso" light fixture? I would feel like J-Lo walking the red carpet every time I used the loo.

Pigtown-Design said...

glue gun + swarovski crystals = done!

Tobi said...

Pigtown- Agreed, Done and Done!

Topsy Turvy said...

Love the toilet!


Tobi said...

Lana- Can you imagine??

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